Being caught up in divorce proceedings can be an very stressful experience for a couple, even when the divorce is amicable, and not filled with bitterness. When you have an amicable divorce, the issues of child custody can usually be managed by mutual agreement, without a lot of difficulty or disagreement. When a divorce is bitter and filled with spite, however, the issue of who gets custody of the children can become a major battleground. If you find yourself involved in this kind of situation, there are some things that you can do to help make it more certain that you will be able to win out in your struggle to be given custody of your children.

* Be absolutely certain that you don’t allow your children to be exposed to environments that are unhealthy, or that could be harmful to them in any way. If you are still smoking, by all means quit- at least when your children are with you! If stopping is absolutely impossible for you (in other words, if cigarettes are tougher to give up than custody of your children), then at the very minimum, you must stop smoking when you are around them. Not only is it demonstrably harmful to their health and well-being, but if you are exposing them to a known health hazard (which smoking is), it can provide a very effective weapon that your former spouse can turn against you during the custody proceedings.

* If you are already involved in a new romantic partner, be very careful when it comes to making an open display of affection with your new lover. This is very important, for at least two reasons: first, it can be quite upsetting to your children when they witness this, because they still may have intense feelings of loyalty to your former spouse. Second, the court will typically frown on it if children are being exposed to an highly sexual or erotic environment. You most also be certain that you are spending enough time with your children, and that you are not ignoring them to spend time with your new partner.

* Give adequate consideration to where your children want to live. You should know what their preference is, even if it is not with you. If your children have a strong preference for living with your former partner, insisting on gaining custody of them can be both futile, and damaging to your future relationship with them, if you pursue it. The only exception to this warning is in situations where you have legitimate concerns for their safety if they remain with your ex – and even then, you must be prepared for backlash from the children if you prevail.

* Be as involved as possible in the lives of your children throughout the duration of the custody process. By doing this you will cast yourself in the most favorable light in the eyes of the Court. If you seem to the Court to have left your children to the care of your former spouse, you will almost certainly lose your custody battle.

* Make every effort to hire a very experienced attorney, who can truly assist you with your custody proceedings. if you have an attorney who keeps your best interests his or her top priority, they will be your greatest ally in your pursuit of the custody of your children. Unfortunately, it is sometimes true that finding that kind of attorney is often very almost impossible.

As a result, you need to have another resource at your disposal, that can provide an alternate source of important information and advice to help you. That way, if your attorney turns out to be indifferent and simply interested in collecting fees while doing as little actual work as possible, you have another source of help. Another type of situation that will often arise with an attorney is that they are simply not able to keep up with all the relevant psychological and legal theories, the kinds of evidence, and the types of allegations that will work (or will fail to work) in the courtroom.

The best way to get access to this vital support information is to get a Custody Guide that is written by well-known experts in the field of child custody. You need to get information from experts who specialize in child custody and have the depth of experience and know-how that allows them to compile the important information, and to keep it current. It is important that they be able to present the information in a way that makes it possible for an average person to understand it, and use it effectively. There are a many sources for this type of guide that can help you find your way through the confusing legal maze that is Child Custody. The links in the resource box will provide further information.

Find out more about the best ways to win your custody fight. Get copies of two FREE reports about child custody by clicking: Free Child Custody Reports. Then, discover more resources that can assist you in your custody battle at Custody Matters.